:: heartattackmachine ::

:: Wednesday, April 30, 2003 ::

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Seventh Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	High
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Low
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Very Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Low
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	High
Level 7 (Violent)	Extreme
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Low
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

:: judy nguyen 9:38 AM [+] ::
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Judy's Battle Imp is

Eaem

Backstabbing: 2 Dodgin': 4 Guts: 8 Magic Mojo: 3 Smackdown: 2

Will your battle imp beat Judy's? Enter your name and fight.

:: judy nguyen 9:31 AM [+] ::
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I guess I might start this too
blog iraqi cosmopolis (10), judy nguyen,* not a virgin anymore (5?)

:: judy nguyen 9:27 AM [+] ::
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well, site meter has alerted me that someone, finally or again, has been searching yahoo for judy nguyen.* I lost count but I could reference somewhere around seven but less than ten directly to me.
I don't even remember writing this. couldn't imagine writing something like that n ow.

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*cough this one up folks. won't get mad atcha. just curious and want to know.

:: judy nguyen 9:24 AM [+] ::
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what's a quotelog?
"Let us be lovers, we'll marry our fortunes together"
"I've got some real estate here in my bag"
So we bought a pack of cigarettes and Mrs. Wagner pies
And we walked off to look for America

"Kathy" I said as we boarded a Greyhound in Pittsburgh
"Michigan seems like a dream to me now"
It took me four days to hitchhike from Saginaw
I've gone to look for America

Laughing on the bus, Playing games with the faces
She said the man in the gabardine suit was a spy
I said "Be careful, his bowtie is really a camera"

"Toss me a cigarette, I think there's one in my raincoat"
"We smoked the last one an hour ago"
So I looked at the scenery, she read her magazine
And the moon rose over an open field

"Kathy, I'm lost" I said, though I knew she was sleeping
I'm empty and aching and I don't know why
Counting the cars on the New Jersey turnpike
They've all gone to look for America
All gone to look for America, All gone to look for America

:: judy nguyen 9:02 AM [+] ::
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in us history 1968-present discussion, we were assigned to persuade the rest of the class to sign on to various movements of the me decade: drug-induced spiritual journeys, est, and pentacostalism.
I usually don't add much to this particular discussion. I'm uneasy about regurgitating the text. anyway, I was lumped in with the spokesmen for the pentecostals, and in preparation, one girl remarked at the sense the movement sort of* made sense. they tell you that god works in your benefit, but you never see any sign.
this chilled me to the bone.

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*can't be extremists, can we? though the third member's brother and sister-in-law were members. she spoke of the s-i-n's prayer in tongues with no irony, just a matter-of-fact tone. on another note, I think I threw in the "sort of" for my own comfort. though this was at least a month ago.

:: judy nguyen 8:31 PM [+] ::
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I think I like light and color so much because they suggest life.
the model in the lego book requires a piece found in neither of the two sets. it made me feel dumb like I was missing something personally though I know it's probably the company's fuckup.
in nylon,* brad renfro says, "I believe in one god, and I don't reate me smart enough to know his name or what have you. but I do know that definitely shit happens on a clock that's not yours. I kind of just trust in whatever's going on." not that I'm ripping renfro's ass or anything. it seems a common mistake or crutch to believe in all sorts of large entities. well, besides the combined action of a lot of other people.

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*I've been looking for a piece of fluff magazine that won't make me feel like a dumbass to read while sleazenation is almost impossible for me to find now.

:: judy nguyen 3:56 PM [+] ::
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yeah. and if you're curious, if I have it (and it seems I do. if things sound eery, it's probably familiar), it's gotta be number two.

:: judy nguyen 8:40 PM [+] ::
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I'm always fascinated by being looked at it though sometimes it scares me. like it did in chinatown, waiting for elliott (elliott!!!, if you're reading this).
often I'll find myself posturing. for my own benefit. though with the idea that someone could be watching me with real aesthetic. though I know that could be kind of retarded. but maybe not.
but right now I remember being on the 91 and sitting somewhere middle on its length and noticing a young, asian girl sitting with her family at the front, looking at me. I don't know if it was a form of a contempt that kept me from returning her smile or seeking more than fleeting, cautious looks. again I think a little posturing. cautious of the fact that I think she wanted to be me.

:: judy nguyen 1:05 PM [+] ::
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bad moon rising's playing somewhere somewhat far off in the office. it makes me happy. kind of. too bad john slept through that movie and too bad I missed that festival.
my neck burns. I guess I'll work soon. I didn't see alex so I'll have no excuse not to fuck off more.
and then it stopped.

:: judy nguyen 12:52 PM [+] ::
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I checked robin's user info after commenting on thom's. I find myself really frustrated, saddened, and confused that she no longer links him as a friend.
indeed, sometimes it strikes me that some other people are more fucked up (or in a different way) than I am. though that's not the end of it.

:: judy nguyen 8:52 AM [+] ::
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drool

:: judy nguyen 7:03 PM [+] ::
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well, apparently I won't be buying cosmopolis either
a new hobby of mine is reading bad reviews of today's cherished books and wondering if anything the fuck is ok to read.

:: judy nguyen 8:22 AM [+] ::
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apparently becky is getting married next month.
the further I get away from my years and the people of high school, the less I know what to make of it.

:: judy nguyen 10:12 PM [+] ::
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perhaps truer now and more necessary than then
from the case for liberalism: a defense of the future against the past by george mcgovern, harper's december 2002:
" I believe in the essential decency and fairness of the american people. this does not mean, however, that I believe our leaders and our voters always to be of sound judgment. democracry does not guarantee wisdom or virtue; it only guarantees only the principles of majority rule and freedom of choice. and freedom of choice includes, whether we like it or not, the right to be wrong. we can only hope that from time to time our leaders will be right."

"we need conservatives, of course, to challenge liberal ideas and proposals and to impel us to examine their soundness, but we cannot depend on conservatives to offer constructive new ideas of the sort that might bring about a more just and equitable society or a more peaceful or cooperative world."

"the genius of american politics has always been the creative tension between our two great political philosophies, liberalism and conservatism. if either of these traditions is diminished, the american nation is diminished. and so, to the self-styled patriot with his bumper sticker - AMERICA, LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT - I would respond, "america, let us improve it so that we may love it more."

:: judy nguyen 9:55 PM [+] ::
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this is the disc I made for david last night. he tried to sell me on the pixies song once, though I didn’t ever seem to really hear mp3s friends suggested then. I realize large overtones radiohead when I think about that history. I listened to the original a few times the night before I ran away. the version that made the mix is a sharp contrast of mood, and though I can’t put it in words or grasp it in thought, what that says could be positive.

I’ve Had It – Aimee Mann (Rare on Air, Vol. 2)
Fast Car – Tracy Chapman
America – Simon & Garfunkel
Electrolite – REM
Seeing Other People – Belle & Sebastian
High on Sunday 51 – Aimee Mann
Got My List – Jonah’s Onelinedrawing
Landslide – Fleetwood Mac (The Dance)
Good Fortune – PJ Harvey
Gigantic – Pixies
Secret Track: Exit Music (from a film) – Kiki & Herb

:: judy nguyen 12:59 PM [+] ::
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from today's boston globe:
Documentary filmmaker Ken Burns says the repetition of the footage yesterday reminded him of the power of images to show us what we want to see.
''When we repeat an image over and over again,'' he says, ''we're forgetting all the other places we could also be looking at at that moment. These images become justification, proof of what we want them to become. That's the nature of iconic images.''

there's a natural instinct to know one's right, and with that it mind, I don't see much difference from pictures or talk of dead and mutilated iraqi children and the tearing down of that monument.
whoa, a lot of you and certainly one particular individual may attack me for insensitivity. of course, I feel war is bad, war is awful, war is unjustified in any circumstance. but when I want to assess and properly approach a situation rather than a moral question, I'm not sure I want my emotions in a bunch.
what about those who consider war a necessary evil? worse, what if bush is right? according to john, his friend couldn't grasp this concept, conspicuously ignored by the anti-war movement, until yesterday.
it almost depresses me that the war ended so quickly. now we'll be able to forget about it in a week. I guess the 2004 democratic national convention may not mean much now. good for you, dave.

:: judy nguyen 3:33 PM [+] ::
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I caught up with ryan in the dining room for breakfast yesterday.
he had glazed-eyed awe for joe, a friend of his older brother. when I inquired, ryan said he understood jokes really well. immersed in the contemplation of his friend, he muttered in realization that joe was flawless, probably his best friend.
I had to go to class and he had to do algebra in the cas computer lab.
I felt jilted.

:: judy nguyen 9:14 AM [+] ::
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Protesting Protestors' Protestations
by Joe Keohane

If one thing has become abundantly clear in the months leading up to this war, it is that the lamer the Bush administration’s justification for military action got, the lamer the anti-war crowd’s justification for opposing it became.
We won’t get deep into the administration’s side of things. Warts and all, that end has been covered at length already. Suffice it to say, effective or ineffective, the stated point of this war has been vague, continually shifting, tailored usually to the crowd before which a particular official was speaking and often appealing to emotion over sense: a dirty, manipulative game.
However, it is a dirty, manipulative game that both sides of the “debate" have been equally guilty of playing.
Take for example a recent Cambridge-to-Boston protest. As I walked down Mass. Ave. last week, I noticed that the whole area had been cordoned off and that there was a strong police presence. I grabbed one of the cops and asked him what the story was, and he muttered, “They’re marching." I asked him if it was going to be a big one, and he just shrugged. “Could be. We’ll see in a second." Then he turned to me and asked, “Don’t these people know we’re already at war?"
The idea that once a nation goes to war the people must throw their support behind it has never convinced me. Though it does seem awfully widespread. “Hey," I said. “This isn’t going to turn into another Kent State thing, is it?" The cop just laughed, not mean-spiritedly, however. He, like myself, couldn’t help but compare this fatuous “movement" to its more serious 1960s forbear.
The protest came out of Harvard and snaked its way down Mass. Ave. At that point, there were probably a few hundred marchers, many with signs, and many of those signs reading things like, “NO WAR FOR OIL," “NO WAR," “PEACE," “PEACE IS PATRIOTIC" and so forth. One woman, a punkrocker, was carrying a sign reading “NO WAR" and wearing a leather jacket adorned with German Iron Crosses. Hmm. Another was waving a sign informing the world that “US SANCTIONS KILLED 500,000 IRAQI BABIES."
“Whew," I said to the person standing next to me. “That’s a lot of babies." He nodded knowingly, as if to say, “Damn those US sanctions."
One kid, bringing up the rear, continually shot resentful glances at the motorcycle cop behind him. The cop wasn’t doing anything, wasn’t leering or mocking, just doing traffic control, but judging by the looks he kept getting, you’d think he had been sent via time machine from Mayor Daley’s 1968 Chicago office and had been walloping and gassing pinkos all the day long. And eating Iraqi babies already starved thin by US sanctions.
Of the protestors I talked with, not one could venture a decent case against war, instead falling back on bromides and simplification – the sort of thing they’re continually criticizing the Bush administration for doing. For every, “Saddam is evil, he hates freedom," there is a corresponding, “War is always wrong, it kills babies," or “NO WAR FOR OIL!"
Both sides of course are utter nonsense, at least from a logical and geopolitical standpoint, because they both appeal strictly to personal considerations, to emotion. For every implied link between 9/11 and Iraq made by Bush, there is a protestor howling about dead children and arguing that war is never the answer.
Though the two may seem at odds, these approaches are in fact one in the same: an appeal to emotion over truth. As if one’s uninformed gut reaction to the crisis counts as substantive defense.
The pro-war set says Saddam could be the next Hitler. To counter this, the anti-war set says Bush is in fact the next Hitler. The pro-war set, louder now, says Iraq harbors and supports terrorism. The anti-war set, now painting peace signs on their faces, claims Bush is a bigger terrorist than bin Laden. The pro-war set responds by yelling, “No, you’re the terrorist!" and the anti-war side starts yelling about dead babies. Then everyone starts yelling about freedom.
The outcome – because this is less a reasoned debate than an increasingly hysterical shouting contest – is usually an exchange consisting of:
“Shut up!"
“No, you shut up!"
“I’m all for freedom of speech, but I think you should shut up!"
“You’re violating my freedom of speech by telling me to shut up – you’re un-American!"
“You are! Love it or leave it!"
“You can’t tell someone to leave America! You leave it, jingoist! Nazi!"
“You’re a NAZI!"
The line about truth being the first casualty of war is often rolled out these days, but it appears dignity falls well before truth. Possibly by a number of years. And even that might lose out to maturity, which has been gone for quite a while.

:: judy nguyen 8:30 PM [+] ::
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