:: heartattackmachine ::

:: Thursday, June 15, 2006 ::

blah. writing in you again for the usual reasons. can't write in the livejournal and I can't handle writing a private entry.
so trying to read last night beyond me puking and having to um come out sick of work (I should've just turned around I know goddamnit okay), I think I was doing all right by swifty and I guess it's obvious that it ain't going to be any immediate thing, but if I wasn't sick and also if I also didn't have my period, I think it wouldn't have been too overblown that we would have wound up doing it on his awful awful bed.
maybe saturday.

so I guess it is clear that I do like him and it was a good sign that he invited me over last night instead of just having me wait to see him at the party and it's a good sign that he told me about that one too. but hell I just wasn't sure. sitting there sort of losing at scrabble (I think I got third place once, trumping him) and watching him and his two roommates (both awesome) dan and nate pal around and sort of wishing I could do that, but shit like that wouldn't come naturally unless... you know. some sort of real intoxication (even intoxication with life) more than drinking.
drank half the six pack I brought over a glass of wine a share of the two pitchers of pbr and I guess I couldn't help but getting sick.
totally feeling like I want to touch him and roll with him and whatever and not even venturing, but he had me sleep in his bed and I guess we were going to sleep together if I didn't get sick. woke up alone. mumbling "stephen...swifty..." threw on clothes. saw nate and dan in the hallway and they said that they were trying to piece together all the puke everywhere and stephen passed out on the couch "looking like a stilllife."
I wash most of the puke off my bag (apparently there is some on my shirt too. hahhahaa?) and take a look at stephen and he actually is lying in the living room in his boxers, his junk poking out. and I try to talk to him but he doesn't rouse to consciousness or anything and rolls to face the back of the futon.
I leave a postit on his computer screen:
"switty
me so sorry
judy"

you know this is an unusual way for me to begin a relationship if that's actually what it will turn out to be though it doesn't necessarily. but I think I'm actually totally cool with it and it's better than really being either led on or rushing into god knows where.
I like swifty for all the reasons that anybody who meets him does but also because he's so bonafide and talented and I dunno. more specific reasons that I don't know how to put into words right now.

:: judy nguyen 5:58 PM [+] ::
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